Thursday, January 13, 2005
Dual Purpose Post
Life is so difficult once you're diagnosed as a chronic masturbator. The whole world looks different, your whole world looks different. The weirdest part is wondering if you were born a chronic masturbator, or whether it was something you once had under control, but it got horribly, chaffingly, out of hand. By the time I realized my diagnosis I had already been tranquilized twice in a local hospital and have since been working with my doctors to keep the condition under control. I am quite proud of this fact actually. I graduated college, I got into a teacher training program, and I can go to a strip club without having to make any runs to the bathroom (for at least the first half hour). I still have trouble talking about my chronic masturbation though. I hear people on the street seeing saying, "yeah I bet that guys beats it like a chimp on speed," or "he needed a skin graft 'cause he wacks off so much" and I laugh and nod, and try to change the subject as quickly as possible. I don't want to say that I feel that guys pain, I don't want to show her my grossly disproportionate forearms, I am scared. One day I won't be scared. One day I will be able to say to that friend "Hey...chronic masturbation is real." Or soemthing like that....One Day
5 comments:
If a woman was a chronic mastubator she would be considered a woman in touch with her sensuality...a man who admits his sperm gushing details...well...welcome to the double standard...in fact...we men should finally make mention of this...AT LAST a double standard that the women have an advantage...(um regarding your doctors visits...I would suggest only using cocoa butter or ky...especially when you consider the chaffing...remember my motto...keep it near by in case it goes dry!) HAAAAAAAAALarious..!!!!
This is a dual purpose post, so you figured out one, let me give you a hint on the other. You came and saw me in the hospital...
I'll pray for you, carl. ;o)
See my newest post. I got you from the jump!
Better yet, Women and the world have always had similar roles in our life. We call the Earth "mother earth". The forces of Nature.."Mother Nature" we call our cars "Female names like" Bessie, Maude, or Gertrude. but none the less they are all Normal items. So, Women are normal. When a woman admits to her masturbation she becomes "a freak" a man...well he is just getting off...meanwhile his boys may tease him...he will still be viewed as a bit strange. Yet some of his boys return right back to the bathroom for another round of pocket pool. But as time goes on it is obvious that it can become a problem especially when "Chaffing is involved" so..using a lubricant or a pain-relief-er can be the best way to counter act the mind altering pain that can be caused by jacking til you scream. But once we consider the overall failures...self therapy: alcohol, trees and low budget chicks...I'd take the high road and keep it a secret until you are ready for the next level...Marriage Masturbation!!!
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