This years Thanksgiving Break was probably the best thing for me after the first 1/4 of this academic year came to an end. The monday before I left I had been working on a paper that needed to be rewritten, meeting with my teacher and my advisor to discuss when I will be teaching, what I will be teaching, and how I will be teaching in the months to come. I helped plan a series of Diversity 'Wine and Cheese' lectures, and I had to go work at the library desk. I wasn't able to clean up my room and pack for home until 11:30 on monday, and I didn't finish that until 2 hours before I had to leave for the Lansing Airport.
The pace I had been running on has been leaving me very ragged. This might be noticeable to anybody who has seen my FIERCE beard and matching nappy afro. Every assignment I have turned in so far has been late while at the same time I am constantly missing extracurricular events, speakers, happy hours, and house parties. Coming up short on all these fronts was hard for me to deal with, but not hard enough for me to try to counteract. Instead of hitting these things straight forward, like, "I need to write a paper, let me start writing the paper," I would do too many things at once, "I need to write a paper, let me first read everything in the field before I start actually working," or "Let me order random books from amazon and then think about working when they get here." Included my weird pace of life, living in a big city, having to drive all around the cities crazy roads, and being busy for 12 hours straight at least twice a week.
When I made the transfer to go head toward Lansing, I felt the pace I was on starting to slow down. The route was sparsely booked soI had a whole row to myself, which immediately used to sleep in. Then I remember looking out the window as we approached thinking, when does the city start? Leaving Boston all I saw were buildings (no grass, no forest, no farms) until we went above the clouds. Now in Lansing, I barely see any developed land even as the plane is hitting the ground. Boston Logan Airport is a giant upstairs down stairs mess, with a neverending flow of cars constantly cruising by the terminal only to be swept into its sea of on- and off-ramps if it tries to park and wait for someone. At Lansing I got off the plane, and before I know I am outside where my ride is parked waiting for me, without another car in sight. The transition from city to city was as shocking, and eventually comforting, as jumping in a hot tub after rolling around naked in the snow.
Living in a big city such as Boston never really felt strange until after I left. You kind of assume that everybody lives the same kind of life as you, or at least everybody should. You think that you need to be running on full speed, you need to be constantly on the go, because that is how you live a grown-up life. You think everybody is absorbed into political discussions, everybody is concerned with your concerns, because you are surrounded in it. I began to wonder about this after the election. Everybody in Boston was so shocked not only that Bush won, but that they were so out of touch with the rest of the country, except most Bostonians said that the rest of the coutnry was really out of touch.
Truth is, Boston is in it's own world, just like I imagine, Detroit, Atlanta, and every other place where that many people decide to live would be. The trouble is the transition from one place to the next, you might get swept up into life in the new place and lose touch with your home, and maybe yourself in the process.
Now after this Thanksgiving Break I hope to take a little more of this Michigan life back to the East Coast with me. The fact that I am even out there seems alot more important now that I am not surrounded by people with similar opportunities. It is important that I take what I came there to get, and get out with my head on my shoulders. Hopefully I will be able to do well there if I stay grounded in where I came from and understand that it is alot different than Boston, but I do not need to romanticize all the differences in this new city and forget about the reality at home. Being grounded should help me as I stroll out of the pillow-esque comfort of Lansing Airport and into the Coffee Grinder-esque grind of going through Boston Logan.
2 comments:
yes, and upon the insertion of the world's greatest x-factor, ron quizon, all bets are truly and utterly off.
with this sort of 'stepping back' revelation imagine what it's like for New York Times columnists... no semblance of any diff't way of life at all. limousine liberals, we like to say.
but to the essential point of your post... 'here, here.' *clink* *slurp/gulp*
hope you enjoyed your step back, and i suppose, the reemerging step back to boston. My step was a bit shorter in the geographic sense, spending the break in the mountains with the fam. but it was just as long in the metaphorical sense. Shelter from the storm, replace 90% of the stress with some unconditional love and the results are immediate. we realize how long it's been, and how hard the storm really is on our psyche.
I suppose my point is that we need to seek shelter from the storm more often. to me the key is celaring the mind. instead of spending that half hour immediiately after work watching the simpsons, i kick back and make a conscious effort to turn off consciousness. spend the first 5 or 10 minutes letting my mind wander, perhaps writing down a few tasks to conquer after my mental vacation, then i slow the gears to a stop. no thoughts. takes a fair amount of practice, which at times is discouraging, but man its nice once you get it. this is my power nap. give it a try
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