March first marks my 24.5th birthday, meaning I am 6 months from being 25. meaning I am for the most part finished the first chunk of my life and definitely flying straight into adulthood. Its kind of scary and I'm thinking more about being a grown up and shit like that...
I went to ireland for a week, it was BRILLIANT. People there get it drunk something serious and me and my crew were drinking at least 10 guinnesses a day.
Came back from Ireland and had a nasty episode scare. I had been up so late that my body went from being tired to being driven by manic energy. I told myself if I survived it I would describe what it was like...
You know how when you are about to go to sleep you have a steady stream of thoughts that go through your head? Well when you are manic that stream (picture like a small mountain river) becomes bigger faster and more dangerous (picture category 6 rapids except as wide and big as the mississippi). The flow of thoughts is so powerful that it kind of keeps you up, your body is sort of buzzing with energy, I'm guessing that your brain is working so hard your muscles can't really relax. You are still with it though, as all the thoughts are going on there is still your underlying discerning mind that is trying its best to sort out the constant stream of thoughts coming at you. The goal is to let as much of the stream go by you, otherwise you wind up convincing yourself of some stupid thought, and actually going to carry it out.
I ended up taking a sedative to go to bed which made feel drunk quickly. No wonder people like popping pills.
2 comments:
if that weren't so dangerous, it would sound really damned cool.
Seriously, I kind of wonder if it is an answer to my childhood wishes of superpowers, and if I could trust myself to keep my wits about me I would stop taking my medication and enjoy it, but then I would wind as sane as other unmedicated bipolar like mike tyson, or one of the many homeless people you've passed in your life
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